Here I am again, in this beautiful paradise island for the fourth time in two consecutive years… Bali, yes I’m in Bali and will probably be here for quite some time. What’s to complain when one’s in an island where the sky is blue, the sea is bluer and the air smells constantly between flowers and incense till you felt a lil’ bit drunk from the fullness of its atmosphere. Nothing really… but sometimes I got this feeling of being force to let go things that I love or most comfortable with just because making a bond to this world is not the purpose of my existence. Or to be exactly, this world is merely temporary, like a dream… and even though the people are real, but most of them are just sleeping.
I guess for me, there’s something more profound than this breath or this pain that surpass the body’s existence into nothingness. When feeling like that comes to me, I simply lost words… like I’m trying to hear the gentlest sound even when there’s no noise. But the weird thing is, my soul always ‘hear’ something in return… something that has ‘nothing’ yet it’s beautiful. It becomes like food and water that can nourish the hidden hunger of being a human being. Thus letting go always brings me something else in return… not of this world, nor this body… just something more..
I wonder how many people ever felt like this before, or why this feeling can come so naturally to me till I feel almost like being dissolved. Yesterday when I was flying above the clouds (which were startlingly white!), the answer was simply… there’s nothing complicated about life, I love and that’s all that matters.